Monday, November 10, 2008

Our almost placement

Exactly 12 hours ago we got a call from our agency stating that they had a baby that had just been born this weekend and they thought we were the perfect match. So of John & I of course went crazy trying to get things ready as we were suppose to drive to the agency this morning and meet up with our caseworker before driving to the hospital. We kind of got a muffled voicemail late last night (like midnight) and the only part we could understand was that the mom was having a really hard time. This was confirmed this morning. The mom changed her mind and decided to parent (which in all reality can be a very good thing--even though it may not feel like it). My heart is broken and I feel so empty. I would have never imagine that I could feel so much joy and so much hurt within a 12 hour span. John & I cannot even begin to imagine how much more it would hurt if we had been any more emotionally invovled, as in being matched for several months and then having the mom change her mind. So we are still taking the day off to be together. If anything we now have our crib. Its also a good thing that walmart does returns (now we can take this stuff back and still search for things we love instead of things we just need to have. More than anything, we are so glad to know that God is still in control and He still has a plan.  This baby was not the baby that He has chosen to be OUR baby.  While it hurts, we feel comfort that only our Father can give.  We are also thankful that the call came this morning before we were on the road or even worse, that we had not gotten to see or hold the baby before the mom changed her mind.  So we are going to take the day to reflect, cleave to one another, and praise God for being our Comforter, Guide, and Provider and rest in the knowledge that our child is still out there.  We continue to appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers.



Erica said...

I know there are no words that can make this moment any easier. I am praying for you both. And as you said, this must not have been the baby that God meant to be for you two. And thank God for sparing you the further pain of finding out later rather than sooner. I'll be praying for you both as you work through this.

~Mrs. JMS~ said...

I am so sorry sweetie! There is a plan and patience is your greatest strength. A little one will come to you very soon!